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As they regularly instruct us on airplanes, in the event of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask first before you help others. For those of us who define our self worth by the quality of the care we deliver to others, putting ourselves first can feel downright criminal. As a recovering self-sacrificer myself, I have been working for years to slowly and systematically build a practice of sacred self care that has allowed me to be more efficient, helpful and beneficial in

"I had to google it," a client confessed to me on the phone last week. "I mean, I just want to make the most of these sessions, and I always feel like I'm picking the wrong topic." While reassuring her that no topic could ever be wrong, I realized that offering some guidelines for choosing a good coaching topic might be useful for my clients and non-clients alike. Unlike a prescribed, one-size-fits-all self-help program, co-active coaching asks the client to name her own topi

Designing alliances—to borrow a term from the coaching world—is a fantastic tool for defining the perimeters of a given relationship, clarifying expectations, and establishing a strong channel for communication. As an agreement that two parties voluntarily opt into, the designed alliance builds an active living container that changes over time as the needs of the relationship change. It ultimately helps both parties to get what they want and need from the relationship. Benefi