writing

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them Confucius We talk about trust a lot. Trust in ourselves, in others, in the benevolence of the universe. Relationships are built on trust, and trustworthiness is high on the list of qualities we seek in our partners in life, work and love. Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. Trusting and being trusted are key elements of self-esteem, str

Burnout is real. It is something that can happen to all of us, even when you are doing what you love (especially when you are doing what you love). While the experience of it can often feel uncomfortable or scary, burnout can actually be a gift that shows us a new way of showing up and engaging with our world. On the other side of a particularly ambitious period of growth and creation this year, I experienced my own bout of burnout, leaving me confused and curious about how i

When I first said yes to writing this article, I assumed it would be a breeze: Not only do I teach the skill of asking for help but, like many of the leaders I coach, I think that I have gotten pretty good at asking for help when I need it. In my enthusiasm for this topic, it was not until I sat down to write, hit a creative block and spent the better portion of a week quietly procrastinating while getting increasingly anxious that it occurred to me: Am I really attempting to

As a culture, we resist endings. We love beginnings with their potential and possibility. But endings? We would rather bury hurt, breakups, and bad blood between partners and end things quickly, anxious to move onto the next mountain. And so we cut and run. Have you ever watched yourself leave before something is really over? Sure, you're still there in body, but your mind, your emotions and your heart are a million miles away. We exit emotionally to avoid acknowledging failu

So you want to leave your job. And why not? What we crave is flexibility, freedom, feeling valued, creative self expression, connection, purpose and meaning. I believe that we all have unique creative gifts to contribute to the world that are desperately needed. And because the job you will hold in ten years likely does not exist today, there is no better time to get dreaming and start executing. If only you could find a way to leave where you are now (the steady pay check, t

I am standing in front of the room, no agenda and no notes, leading a two day workshop on a topic I feel like I am only beginning to understand. With my co-leader, we set out to teach a group of women the luxurious, abundant permission that we ourselves longed for: A weekend fully focused on discovering our pleasure, power, and presence. The catch? We had to plan and execute the whole 24 hour event with 80% of our time lazer focused on the co-leader relationship, and only 20%

If you have never been coached before, finding the right coach, and even knowing what to look for in a great coach, can be a bit daunting. A few tips and guidelines (from my perspective) are below: Find a credentialed coach The coaching industry - really only about 40 years old - is governed by the International Coach Federation (ICF) that holds the standards and certification process to ensure coaches are trained professionals and comply with ethical codes. As the industry h

"I had to google it," a client confessed to me on the phone last week. "I mean, I just want to make the most of these sessions, and I always feel like I'm picking the wrong topic." While reassuring her that no topic could ever be wrong, I realized that offering some guidelines for choosing a good coaching topic might be useful for my clients and non-clients alike. Unlike a prescribed, one-size-fits-all self-help program, co-active coaching asks the client to name her own topi

Designing alliances—to borrow a term from the coaching world—is a fantastic tool for defining the perimeters of a given relationship, clarifying expectations, and establishing a strong channel for communication. As an agreement that two parties voluntarily opt into, the designed alliance builds an active living container that changes over time as the needs of the relationship change. It ultimately helps both parties to get what they want and need from the relationship. Benefi

As we enter the holiday season, it seems our best laid plans for self-care, enforcing personal boundaries and new regimes seem to go out the window. Steadfast commitments to meditate, exercise, find a new job, write the book, or even sit for the catch-up conversation seem to dissolve into the too frequent refrain: "There's not enough time". Suddenly, taskmaster clients feel like victims of their schedules, claiming that they "don't have a minute to breath" and that they are "